LM 11.2 — Ani Hashem Hu Shemi, Part 2 of 4 · תורה י״א

Good morning. Torah י״א, אות ג is where we're starting. Just one quick, I guess, housekeeping point you could say. Last week I accidentally uploaded the last shiur from Torah י' instead of the first shiur from Torah י״א. So if anybody was listening to the recording, because I saw that there were a bunch of downloads, and realized that it was wrong, so I did end up switching it, but you could just totally shoot me an email, mrubin, m-r-u-b-i-n at sorry, mrubin214@gmail.com, so mrubin214@gmail.com, just let me know. I would have been happy to switch it.

The second thing, today might be actually a little bit shorter, so at the end I might just share a quick vort. We did not learn last week because I was away, but I heard heard Rabbi Nisan Kaplan speak actually, and he was fabulous. Said something that I thought was worth thinking about, but I'll say it at the end, I guess. Okay, so just catching us up a little bit if we forgot where we were holding in Torah י״א, the Torah started off, "אני ה׳ הוא שמי וכבודי לאחר לא אתן ותהלתי לפסילים", started off with the point that there is a יחודא עילאה and יחודא תתאה, we unpacked that a little bit at the beginning of the last shiur, and we aligned it, we said היינו

שמע ישראל and ברוך שם כבוד מלכותו לעולם ועד, and that every single person, כל אחד מישראל, צריך שיהיה נעשה זה על ידו, and through this, we can come to this very deep understanding, this attachment to Torah, לתבונת התורה לעומקה. We stepped a little bit away from that and tried to say, well, there's a big gap if we are at kind of the bottom, the first, you know, rung one, or hopefully not any worse than that, however you want to present it, and we're trying to get to the heights of תבונת התורה לעומקה, how do we get there?

How do we start bridging that gap? We are separated. And we spoke out the idea of articulating words of Torah, that by speaking out words of Torah, these will show us the areas that we have to do teshuvah, so that we can elevate ourselves through multiple levels of teshuvah, and be able to kind of start going towards that road. Where did he say over here? ובכל פעם ופעם על ידי כל תשובה ותשובה, הוא הולך ממדרגה למדרגה. We saw in one of the earlier תורות the idea of different multiple levels of teshuvah, doing teshuvah, teshuvah al teshuvah.

But over here, he said that as a person speaks words of Torah and attains different almost a cloudy, we'll speak out more today and going to explore more what a person is accomplishing, but he does teshuvah, and then you're holding at one level. And then you from from that from that platform, a person continues to go down this road and does a further level of teshuvah. First of all, things that maybe he hasn't reached yet originally, or maybe even like we spoke out earlier, he has a new understanding of different פגם and different different issues that he may have consequences in the בריאה that he may have impacted when he originally did עבירות, עד שיוציא ממדרגה פחותה זו, ובא לתבונת התורה לעומקה, and this will

allow a person to ultimately achieve his to ultimately achieve his goal. Now, one of the תנאי for the words of these words of Torah that he speaks out to be מאיר, to be able to show him, to lead him to do that teshuvah, is anavah. Because if a person We spoke out the idea of kavod Hashem, it's it's an absolute, right? So if we relate to HaKadosh Baruch Hu as the אין סופיות and infinite, then the truth is that any privilege that we have, somebody told me Oh, you know what?

I think I heard it from Rabbi Reuven Feinstein, actually. He said, one interesting thing, this is my understanding, so you can quote me, I guess, and not him, my understanding of of what he said, the way I remember it, is it's very interesting that people tend to have ga'avah in things that are God-given, and they tend to brush off things that really are their responsibility. So people might have ga'avah that they have a good voice and that they're tall and that they're handsome and intelligent. And these things are things that HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave them, and yet when it comes to something like laziness, or not trying their hardest, they have every excuse in the world without feeling without feeling embarrassed about it.

So it's a different way of looking at things. If HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave me a privilege, so it comes along with responsibility. I have a certain a certain advantage, that's there to be used. It's a tool that HaKadosh Baruch Hu put into my toolbox. If anything, I'll have an accountability for not using it. Why is it there to see ga'avah at all? To the extent that I have any ga'avah, so then that becomes infinity minus one. That's already like a big a big gap. So if to the extent that I relate to something of כחי ועצם ידי, when something is is mine, that I have בעלות on it, the the only thing I can really have בעלות over in a certain sense, I guess you

could say, is is בחירה, that I choose to understand that everything I have relates to הקדוש ברוך הוא. But once I put something into the realm of of me, so then I'm taking something away from הקדוש ברוך הוא, so that's already, fundamentally, it's qualitatively different than relating to total ביטול of everything as being כבוד ה׳. And therefore, we said that in order for the word words of Torah to be מאיר, a person has to relate to כבוד השם in its fullness, so to speak. That's full התבטלות, and that comes from ענווה.

Otherwise, instead of when I am learning words of Torah and now I am attaching myself to Torah, I'm not attaching myself to the infinite. I'm not attaching myself to, where do I find myself, where's my understanding relate to Torah? I saw Torah, I saw Gemara, how do I understand Chazal? All of a sudden I I learn Chazal, I try to paint, you see people, unfortunately, they'll take an אגדתא and they'll start understanding it through the terms of being in 2022. You know, how how do we relate to this idea of what the Tannaim and Amoraim said?

Are we finding ourselves inside of Torah, or are we taking Torah and we're plugging it into us? And this is almost chas v'shalom to say that you're being מגשם תורה. You're not you're not relating yourself to Torah, you're relating Torah to yourself. And that's almost like putting something limitations on it in a certain way, I guess we could relate to it. So if a person does not have this כבוד השם, a person does not have ענווה, he doesn't have התבטלות, and he comes at it from his own headspace and then he learns Torah, so in a sense he's he's being מגשם גשמיות, let's לשון of גשמיות, is being מגשם is being מגשם the Torah.

And this idea of of גאוה and not having ענווה, so really גאוה is a little bit it smacks of עבודה זרה. It smacks of there being another independent another independent thing other than הקדוש ברוך הוא, as it were, which is myself. And because עבודה זרה we related to it in the Torah is has to be burnt, it's אסור בהנאה, כתותי מיכתת שיעוריה, something that is slated to be burnt, it's as if it's already burnt. So if we are putting ourselves in a position something that relates to עבודה זרה, it's as if it's already there and therefore our words will not have impact.

And now today, we're going to start off connecting the idea of anivut of of anavah to תיקון הברית and and how that works. And again, so that we can embark on our path towards avodah of being able to use words of of relating to the Torah and using words of Torah to ultimately be me'ir, to light up, to illuminate where we have to do teshuvah, to go forward on our journey to get closer to הקדוש ברוך הוא, so that we can move towards our path of of being of attaining תבונת התורה לעומקה and ultimately and being מייחד the יחודא עילאה and the יחודא תתאה, concepts that are not the easiest, but this is this is Torah, we take it as it comes.

And little by little, as we familiarize ourself with the with the concepts and we start seeing things come up over and over again, it really starts to paint a a beautiful picture. Okay, so starting off the אות ג, how are we going to be zocheh to to come to this level of hitbatlut, of of anavah, so that there's only כבוד השם and our dibburim can illuminate? The says, וכבוד בשלמות, so in order to be zocheh to relating to כבוד בשלמות, to be total התבטלות כלפי הקדוש ברוך הוא, אינו כי אם על ידי ו שימשיך לתוכה.

The word kavod has כף, בית, ואו, דלת. The word kavod has a ו, and we're going to relate this ו to to really תוספת קדושה, wherever the Torah says ו, we already had two torot that start off ואלה המשפטים, the pesukim, it's it's adding on. ו is and, so you start off with something and then you relate to something else, and they're connected by a תוספת, by an addition, that's what and means. So we're going to say that the word ו is representative of תוספת. But for now, we're going to say that this ו that we that we is we ultimately insert into כף בית דלת, so it goes that's called kavod, and the ו is what turns it into kavod.

Where if you take the ו out of it, so then you're left with כבד with כבד, כף בית דלת, which is like a heaviness, but that's if we remember that when Moshe Rabbeinu went, he didn't want to be mekabel the שליחות right away to take the Jews out of Mitzrayim, and it says that that he he had a כבד פה, he had like a speech impediment. The Zohar brings, I'm reading from a note over here, רזא איהו משה קלא, that what what is the sod that Moshe had a kol?

ודבור דאיהו מלה דיליה הוה בגלותא, and his dibbur, his the words, the ability to articulate, was, as it were, in galut, he couldn't relate to it. והוה איהו אטים לפרשא מילין, and he was not able, he was atim, he was sealed up, prevented from being able to articulate the words. Now as we understand it, Moshe Rabbeinu was the epitome of humility, of anavah, so, but the thing is is that Moshe Rabbeinu was his role was to be the leader of the Jewish people. We already saw a discussion between Yochani and Mamre last last shiur, so to the extent that the Jewish people were not holding by that level of תבונת התורה לעומקה and they couldn't relate to the dibburim, so this this this connects to

Moshe Rabbeinu as well at that stage, that it's as if the dibburim were in galut. So back back where we are, so this vav that that's what we're talking about, that the vav, that the anavah In order to relate towards, it's going to be through the vav, which we're going to relate to שמירת הברית, and that's what ends up putting, if you insert it into כבד, כבד פה, you insert that vav into into k-b-d, it becomes kavod, and that's where we can relate to the dibburim. Okay, with that introduction.

So כי, now that we did like ten words, כי אם על ידי ו׳ שימשיך לתוכה, we put the vav into כבוד, כי בלא ו׳ נשאר כבד פה. Without the vav, so then the dibburim are going to be in galut, because you can only have the effective dibburim to lead towards teshuvah when you relate to כבוד השם. ועל ידי ו׳ הוא בבחינת כבוד, sorry, again, ועל ידי ו׳ הוא בבחינת כבוד, ולא ידום. The pasuk in Tehillim says למען יזמרך כבוד, you sing again or articulate, the true true diburim are relate to כבוד, ולא ידום, and it won't be an element, it won't be a bechinah of defective speech, won't be a bechinah of ידום of like of silence.

Now, what is this ו? So if this ו is the key to kavod Hashem, this ו is the key to being able to ultimately have these diburim so that we can work on teshuvah and teshuvah al teshuvah to get close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu and תבונת התורה לעומקה, the depth. כי כל מקום שנאמר ו׳, what is a ו? Hu mosif, that comes to add on. It's a bechinah of tosefet, and a bechinah we're talking about pesukim, pesukim are getting close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, they're in a realm of קדושה, היינו בחינת תוספת קדושה.

Now, once we're talking about tosefet kedushah, we're talking about היינו שמירת הברית, where a person will consistently raise the bar. The Mi Nachal says that this remez is a remez that when especially when it comes to kedushah, it comes to שמירת הברית in the in the in the realm of arayot, a person personally a person has to constantly be raising the bar. A person has to constantly be getting closer and closer and to to to the idea of kedushah and making gedarim on שמירת הברית, כמאמר חכמינו זכרונם לברכה, כל מקום שאתה מוצא גדר ערוה אתה מוצא קדושה.

Wherever we find that a person sets boundaries when it comes to the idea of ערוה, when it comes to to to different areas of inappropriateness in the sexual realm, so that's where a person moves towards kedushah. And this this lashon of kedushah specifically relates to this realm. Now so explaining where we're holding, again, it's a little bit of a hard Torah, so maybe we're moving a little bit slower, but just in terms of the amount of the amount of that I break it up, I think that we will not be have to accomplish as much material this week, so we have a little bit extra time to speak it out, that the ביאור הדברים that we're talking is that this אות ו׳ is again is

is an idea of tosefet, and since it's talking about פסוקי תורה, this is the way the notes in the in the print that I have explain it. In other words, because, okay, so ו is tosefet, where does the tosefet, where do we make that leap into into תוספת in terms of kedushah? Maybe it's more wealth, maybe it's more anything. So since the ו the Gemara talks about the ו as being תוספת in the realm of פסוקים, so it relates to kedushah, and then working our way backwards, kedushah is used in the realm of שמירת הברית, so kedushah is the flip side, the other side of the coin, זה לעומת זה, from שמירת הברית.

So ברית, so ו in תוספת of פסוקים is תוספת קדושה. Now where we relate this תוספת קדושה לגבי the person, how we incorporate kedushah is this idea of שמירת הברית. And once we have that ו, we we use that ו which transforms כבד פה into כבוד השם, that's where we have defective speech is able to produce productive speech. We are able to articulate true meaningful words that is able to show us where we need to do teshuvah. Now the reason that שמירת הברית brings כבוד of kedushah, which is anavah, we said, because כבוד השם is where there's zero independence, zero כחי ועוצם ידי, it's where I have zero to the extent that הקדוש ברוך הוא is everything, that's where a person could say, right, אנא

השם הושיעה נא. This is just a side point I heard from Rabbi Yitzchak Berkowitz once, what's the holiday of simchah? שמחת בית השואבה, it is Sukkos. But on the other hand, if you look through הושענות, so it seems to be pleas of desperation. How is it that we have You would think that simchah is where I have a lot, right? And and yet you look at the day that's representative of simchah, oh, it seems to be that the תפילות are built around cries of desperation, and the way that I remember him explaining it was the opposite.

Where I'm responsible for something, so I can never be in complete security. I can be ninety-nine percent good. If you look at Shaar HaBitachon, it talks about, you know, the seven הקדמות, or really the there's there's five הקדמות and one of them is seven תנאים, but that a person would need in order to have bitachon in anything, and some of them are that a person has You know that nothing else can get in the way, complete knowledge, complete strength, because none of us are in that position, nobody can ever have complete security and bitachon in a person.

So where is it that a person reaches full simcha, full security, full a full מנוחת הנפש? Where you're completely, where you have zero, you factor yourself out almost completely. It's totally אנא השם הושיעה נא, a total התבטלות, so now that you have bitachon in Hakadosh Baruch Hu and Hashem is going to be there for you, that's where you can reach full security. So full anavah, full התבטלות, that's where you get to כבוד השם. And we're saying that כבוד השם, because of the extra ו', you get to through שמירת הברית.

He said תלוי בזה גאות וניאוף. We're connecting the idea of gaavah and the idea of ניאוף, of sexual impropriety, כמו שאמרו חכמינו זכרונם לברכה על הפסוק, there's a pasuk in Mishlei, the Gemara in Sotah says, ואשת איש Over here we're talking about an illicit, an immodest woman, נפש יקרה תצוד, is able to trap the haughty נפש. יקרי, יקרה is like לשון of kavod. Says that the illicit woman, who is who is going to be prime victim in this area? A person who is haughty will be able to be trapped.

Those people are going to be the most susceptible, the Gemara tells us from a pasuk in Mishlei, to to the איסורים in this area. And it works also the other way: a person who is not שומר ברית, he's also the person that can end up going towards gaavah. The Rabbi Natan tells us in Likutey Halachot this idea. He goes off also, just read the passage or part of the passage from Likutey Halachot, he says על ידי שמירת הברית בשלימות זוכין לענוה שהיא בחינת כבוד בשלימות. So this is a a relationship, it's a two-way relationship, שמירת that a person who doesn't have anavah, a person who's a gaavah becomes becomes susceptible to to פגם הברית issues, and on the other hand, he fleshes out over there

that a person who is an עניו will be זוכה to to have extra siata dishmaya in שמירת הברית issues. And again, through through this carefulness, through through being careful in שמירת הברית issues, in the פנימיות that you add the ו' to kavod, once you have kavod Hashem, you can have words that'll be me'ir so where where you have to do teshuvah. So again, tying it back together, what we're trying to do is figure out how we connect to to תבונת התורה לעומקה. Now, על כן ועל כן ברית מכונה בשם שדי.

We're going to see that the name Shaddai, so we it's like a negative relationship with the name Shaddai, that there's a pegam over there, we're going to connect it through both ideas of פגם הברית and also through ga'avah. So therefore, because we see that these two things go together, שמירת הברית and גאוה, על כן ברית מכונה בשם שדי, כמו שכתוב אני קל שדי, פסוק in בראשית ל״ה י״א, פרה ורבה. The name Shaddai is associated with going forward in פרו ורבו, of of kedushah of kedushah in that realm, in a mitzvah sense, that when Hakadosh Baruch Hu commanded Yaakov Avinu to have children, that this is a bechinah of תיקון הברית, he used the name Shaddai.

Now, כי שדי הוא בחינת שיש די באלוקותו לכל בריה. Shaddai, we're going to speak in a different sense as well soon, but Shaddai is a bechinah of יש ד- שיש די, that's what it's it's like a contraction, שיש די באלוקותו לכל בריה, that there's enough, there's enough in the world, you don't need to go out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. What's the name Hashem? I heard from, I might have seen maybe in the Rav Soloveitchik Haggadah at one time I think, I'm not sure, that that that's why by אבילות and in other places where davka the name Hashem is used, that you know people tend to think, the the Chazon Ish already says in in Emunah Ubitachon, he says that there's a טעות נושנת, I think

his lashon is, there's an old טעות that people sometimes think that if I have bitachon what I want to happen will happen, just have bitachon. Then it leads to problems, then a person wants something to happen that they think might be good for them, it doesn't happen, they had bitachon, they're davening, and now what's up? Guy says no, that Hashem with a capital H, the you know Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the context in which everything exists. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is is the universe, there is nothing outside Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and therefore there's there's nothing when I have bitachon what that means that there's there's a divine plan, that nothing is accidental, everything is everything is exactly the way We saw before, no not over here,

but there's a Gemara I think in Ta'anit, Lulianus and Papinus or or Papus, I forget exactly, were were going to be killed by the Roman Emperor, and their response was, if Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us to die, so if you don't kill us it'll happen some other way, but it's a it's a question of what our part in the play is. Where is where do we find ourselves in the divine plan? There's nothing outside of that. And also, like the Chovot Halevavot says, so we have bitachon that everything that that Hakadosh Baruch Hu does for us is is טוב and נכון, not necessarily the way that we see it.

We think that if I win the lottery that's good, maybe that would be the worst thing in the world for me. If I got into a certain yeshiva, went to a certain summer camp, my kids did something, that's going to be good. Maybe that would be the end it would be distraction, it wouldn't lead me to certain relationships where I need. It's a long Sometimes you're in the middle of a of a long thing playing out, and then in hindsight, you see where everything was the best.

So when we say שיש די באלוקותי לכל בריה, everything that's that's the opposite of gaavah. That's anavah. There's enough, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is so to speak, יש די, it's enough for everybody, that it's the הכרה that there's nothing outside of Hamakom. Gaavah therefore is that that, no, that's why every really bein adam lachaveiro is really bein adam lamakom also. What's what's bein adam lachaveiro? I am jealous of you, I steal from you. So what does it mean? If I have a small hammer and you have a big hammer, and I understand, well, maybe I'm a jeweler and you're a carpenter, what I have might be smaller, but that's the perfect one for me.

If I had the carpenter's hammer, I would mess up the jewels, or vice versa, whatever the case is. So when I have bein adam lachaveiro, I I I step on your toes, what that really is questioning is whatever Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave me, He put me in the situation that I need. What am I looking at you? What am I trying to step on your toes? What am I angry at you? You're just a stick in the hand of Hakadosh Baruch Hu as far as I'm concerned.

So total hitbatlut is is the way that I look at it. If if I have total hitbatlut to kavod Hashem, I can't have any gaavah. Nothing is coming to me. וכשאינו שומר הברית, היינו So we we say that Shaddai relates to תוספת קדושה, אני קל שדי פרה ורבה, and Shaddai also relates to anavah, to no גאוה, שיש די באלוקותי לכל בריה. Different, in in different ways. וכשאינו שומר הברית, היינו על ידי גאות. And when we're not שומר the brit, and we we do this through gaavah, we we just saw already that that first of all, both of these things really negatively, they're פוגם in the shem Shaddai, and we also saw in Likutei Halachot spoke out that שמירת הברית and gaavah go together as well.

So when a person is not שומר ברית, הוא עושה לעצמו עבודת אלילים. What he essentially is making himself avodah zarah-esque. הוא מראה שאין די לו באלוקותו, that it's not enough what Hakadosh Baruch Hu rules the world. We want, as it were, to relate outside, chas v'shalom, to say outside HaMakom, there's something that belongs to me, עד שצריך עבודת אלילים, until we need to be looking at עבודת אלילים in other other places, as it were. ועל כן פוגם בשדי, שיש די באלוקותו לכל בריה. And it's being pogem in this name שדי, in this idea that, no, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is is not just sufficient, because you could say, well, Hakadosh Baruch Hu it's not just Hakadosh Baruch Hu is sufficient, that there is nothing else.

It's just from our perspective. It's as if I'm saying, yes, the beit midrash is good for me in the morning, but then lemaaseh if I'm going to be successful in business, I have to I have to blur the lines of halachah, I have to go outside the lines of halachah. But there is no such thing as outside the lines of halachah. The way that we relate to it, it's not that it's not that the Torah is an instruction manual, and I sometimes need to blur the lines and go outside the instructions.

The Torah is a physics book. You can't say, well, you know, I don't like this music, so I'm going to do outside something the way that sound waves work. The Torah is an expression of reality. That's the way it works. It's only our perception that we can go outside the system. But when we do this, we're being pogem in the שם שדי. וכששומר הברית, הוא זוכה להארת מאור התשובה כנ״ל. And therefore, when a person is שומר הברית, they put the ו into kavod Hashem, and they turn כבד into kavod.

So that's where kavod Hashem is going to be with them בשלמות, and then they're going to have anavah, which anavah and שמירת הברית are תלוי in each other. We saw that these relate also to the name שדי, and that's where a person can have words that will be מאיר where he has to do teshuvah, so he can climb in levels until teshuvah until תבונת התורה לאמקה. Now that we said that through שמירת הברית a person is זוכה to to kedushah, to the אות ו in kavod Hashem, to speak diburim that are effective to climb, so now we're going to explain that דיבורי תורה that show a person how to do teshuvah are a bechinah of אות ו that has in it טל אורות.

This is really coming off of the the lashon of טל אורות, like this the dew, D-E-W, of revival, it relates to the shefa from HaKadosh Baruch Hu. This is not going to be the easiest piece, but this טל אורות is is there's going to be a bechinah What we're talking about is a bechinah of טל אורות. והאור הזה, that this this light that that we are that that that we merit, that shows us that lights up when we have the appropriate words in כבוד השם to do תשובה, הוא בחינת טל אורות הכלולים בו של כבוד.

This idea, how HaKadosh Baruch Hu relates to us, is come to us through טל אורות, which is dew, it's also לט אורות, thirty-nine lights, as it were. I'm using light because that's the translation, it's how we're talking about it's are, but these are Kabbalistic concepts that are beyond us, but we're going to read the words and take out of it what we what we can take out of it. So these are kalul in the ו של כבוד. Why? Because this ו, בחינת הן כל אלה יפעל אל פעמים שלוש עם גבר.

It's a pasuk in Iyov. So in the peshat it says that all these things is what HaKadosh Baruch Hu does. פעמים שלוש, HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives a person three chances before to to do teshuvah before certain before certain consequences, Rashi says in the peshat in the פסוק, פעמיים שלוש, three times מייסרו על עוונותיו בחוליו שלא להשחית. HaKadosh Baruch Hu doesn't chas v'shalom want to destroy us. HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants, there's no simcha in resha'im being destroyed, and the Netziv said halvai so that at a certain point so רשעות and wickedness כעשן תכלה goes away, but at this point HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants that we should do teshuvah.

Like the Gemara we quoted earlier several times, I think in Berachot by Beruriah, right? Where we shouldn't celebrate the death of the wicked, what we want is that that that there should be an end to wickedness, right? We want teshuvah. So HaKadosh Baruch Hu wants us to do teshuvah, and he gives us he gives us chances and warnings. However, if if a person still after the three times doesn't do what he's supposed to do, so at that point ידאג מן הגיהנום מן המיתה כהלשונו, but okay. But in any event, we're going to learn now the פנימיות of the פסוק, הן כל אלה יפעל אל פעמיים שלוש עם גבר, עם עם עם גבר, we'll come back to the עם גבר part soon.

פעמיים שלוש, three times, הם בחינת טל אורות של מילוי שלוש אותיות ראשונות. Now there's י-ק-ו-ק, we've said many times that when we talk in the terms of these abstract concepts, HaKadosh Baruch Hu's התחברות to the world, Hashem relates to the world, sometimes you use the word of משל אדם, so we speak about the about the that that the different body parts, as it were, אוזן, חוטם, פה, right? The גולגולת, different things we relate to a person, the קומה שלימה, the קומה קומת אדם, and there's parallels in the בריאה.

And sometimes we use a משל of אותיות. We talk about relate to the קוצו של י׳, and then י-ק-ו-ק, we relate to טנת״א, טעמים, נקודות, תגין, אותיות. We've spoken several תורות about the significance of נקודות, so now we're talking about י-ק-ו-ק, these relate also to the ספירות, there's certain cabbalistic significance to the ו׳ in terms of in terms of what it represents in the flow of HaKadosh Baruch Hu coming down to us, but for right now, we know that there's a מילוי of letters. We've spoken before that the י-ק-ו-ק we can relate to ע״ב, ס״ג, מ״ה, ב״ן, and these are different ways of a מילוי of spelling out the letters.

Now what we're going to speak is, פירוש כי שלוש אותיות ראשונות של שם הוי״ה במילוי אלפי״ן, if you spell out י-ק-ו, the first י׳ and a ה׳, or we say ק we're talking about the ה׳, but we spell out the מילוי, so we're going to spell it out as י׳ is י-ו-ד, that's 20, ה׳ is ה-א, ו׳ is ו-א-ו, because there's different ways. You could you could say ה׳ is ה-ה, you could say ה׳ is ה-י, you could say ה׳ is ה-א, right? So we're going to be using this מילוי.

This way of spelling it out is י, ק is a ה-א is 6, that's 20 + 6 is 26, and ו we'll spell out as ו-א-ו. And it says ו-א and ו in gematria is 13, 20 + 6 is 26 + 13 is 39. So we see that again טל אורות, טל is ט-ל, that's ל״ט, 39 lights that is representative in in Kabbalah of one expression of how Hakadosh Baruch Hu relates to us, so this is, we said that we're zocheh to טל אורות through the בחינה of the ו of kavod, we're going to have to see how, and this is represented in the first three letters of י-ק-ו, okay, so י, ק, and ו in the מילוי is also adds up to 39, הם

בגימטריא ט״ל, והם בחינת טל אורות that Hakadosh Baruch Hu sends shefa through the י-ק-ו. The last the last ה is is מלכות, it's the נוק, it's it's the, okay we're not getting into it, so this is going to be how Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives shefa. והם כלולן בהו׳. Now these are really כלול, they're נכלל, they're נכלל in the ו׳ של השם. Why? Because we said פעמיים, פעמיים שלוש, the ו is 13, so if you take פעמיים שלוש, three times, the ו times 3 is 13 * 3 is also 39.

So but if you can think about it in a way it's as if like Hakadosh Baruch Hu is sending shefa through י-ק-ו. The י, almost the way Rav Maimon explained it, the י spills over into the ה and that spills over into the ו and then the ו incorporates everything that came before it, so of the of the of the first three letters of the שם in its entirety, so that's טל אורות. If this is complicated, it is complicated, but we want to try to take a step back and understand the principle of it, that the ו of the י-ק-ו-ק, which we're going to say is also represented, the same ו that belongs in kavod, so this is representative of טל אורות, of the shefa

coming from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and we already saw that the way that we're zocheh to that ו to turn כבד פה into kavod, into kavod, where is through anavah and through שמירת הברית, which is where again our דיבורים we can articulate our words effectively to get back towards the Torah of the עומק. I keep coming back to it so we don't get lost because it's it's a technical hard piece. Now it says what what how does the pasuk finish off? הן כל אלה יפעל אל פעמים שלש, three times, עם גבר.

So what is the עם גבר telling us? עם גבר, who is going to be zocheh to this? שהם, that these טל אורות that are כולל, that are נכלל in ו׳, כלולן בברית, is the ו׳ of kavod is כלולן בברית, is also included in the idea of שמירת הברית, because we're going to say that עם גבר, it's פעמים שלש, who is zocheh to the פעמים שלש, to the shefa that comes that's נכלל in the ו׳ we said that comes through the י-ק-ו, and that ו׳ can be put into kavod, that's going to be עם גבר, the person who is by by the גבר.

What's גבר? גבר is representative of ברית. Where do we see this? Because the פסוק in Shoftim says כי כאיש גבורתו. That it says that a person that that the ענין of it's by the ענין of פרו ורבו, there's a Gemara in Bava Batra that דרש'es out this פסוק, without going through the whole דרשה over there, but a person according to the person is his strength, it's representative over there of שמירת הברית issues. גבורה is גבר, גבורה, strength, is associated with שמירת הברית issues, ועל שם זה נקרא ברית, and that's why it's called ועל שם זה נקרא ברית בועז.

That's why that he's coming off with Tikkunei HaZohar, which says that strength in this area is is called Boaz, is called is called what we'll see, bo oz, in there, there is strength, and therefore ברית relates to Boaz. So we see over here that the name Boaz is bo oz, in him is strength, the Gemara tells us actually that Rashi says, Gemara in סנהדרין, בתוקפו של יוסף וענוותנותו של בועז. We all know that that the in the ו׳, by the way, a lot of times relates to שמירת הברית issues, to יסוד, to צדיק, to Yosef, to to Yosef's strength in the area of Potiphar, etc., that Yosef is representative of strength in this area, and the Gemara tells us that there was a מעשה with

Boaz and Rut, that Boaz also had a tremendous tremendous strength in this area. And therefore the name the ברית, שמירת הברית, is associated with Boaz, is associated with strength, and that's the end of this פסוק, עם גבר, that גבר is strength, so that's why פעמים שלש. How are we זוכה to this ו׳ in kavod, which is also that not having any gaavah, not avodah zarah, totally bitul to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, through שמירת הברית, בו תוקפא, that's where the strength is. אבל כשאינו שומר הברית, when a person is not שומר הברית, הוא מקלקל את טל אורות, then he's going to be מקלקל in this idea of these 39 lights so to speak, because everything is זה לעומת זה.

So where a person does what he has to do, he has anavah, and ultimately שמירת הברית, which both strengthen the name of Shaddai, by the way, but both of these are are relate to שמירת הברית is the ו׳, and kavod is anavah, and these things relate to כבוד השם and is bitul and chas v'shalom no avodah zarah, and he's going to be zocheh to shefa and טל אורות, that's in one direction. What happens when a person is מקלקל in these areas? So that's where he's going to have the negative side of טל.

What's the negative side of טל אורות, of 39? ממשיך על עצמו עול פרנסה. He's going to bring upon him עול פרנסה. Now this is not actually the first time that we're actually relating these things, if we remember just to I'm sure if I was holding better I would remember more, but if we remember from Torah ד׳ אות ח׳, we said in the middle over there סימן לגסות הרוח עניות. So we we explained over there different ways of relating to the tzaddik, we talked about giving tzedakah to a talmid chacham, but without going through the Torah, there what he did bring a Gemara in from Kiddushin מ״ט, סימן לגסות הרוח עניות.

So over here also, we're talking about being מקלקל in these areas brings problems chas v'shalom in parnasah, and we saw also in the in Torah ז׳ אות י״ב, אות י״א at the end, כי פגם הברית העדר הלחם, that פגם הברית also withholds parnasah. So this is not the first time that we're seeing that both gaavah and and פגם הברית, both of those issues relate to deficiencies in parnasah. We all want parnasah. So everything again comes comes totally complete. It's it's as much as it seems sometimes to be all over the place in different concepts, we're really addressing certain core truths from different vantage points until it starts to tie together, but it takes a lot of a lot of patience.

So it says ממשיך על עצמו עול פרנסה היינו ל״ט מלאכות כמובא בזהר in פנחס, מאן דזריק פירורין דנהמא, a person that throws crumbs of bread around, that not careful, they don't respect the bread, עניות רדפא בתריה, but the Zohar tells us כל שכן, if a person sprinkles bread crumbs around and that could cause poverty, כל שכן מאן דזריק פירורין דמוחא, the crumbs of the moach, of the brain, In translation these things mean nothing, but the the way that we represent it, we talked about that the zera is coming from the moach, with the different parts we've spoke about it earlier, maybe I think in Torah ה׳ maybe.

כל שכן that that that that a person who sprinkles around, he's not careful about the the the drops of the moach, which are tipah, we're talking really like in the realm of זרע לבטלה, of of פגם הברית issues, for sure that עניות will pursue him, and that will be the negative side of טל אורות, not in terms of 39 lights of shefa, of kedushah from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, but in terms of the 39 מלאכות, as it were. We are familiar with that from the from the Mishkan.

We'll talk more about it in a second, but the the Likutey Moharan will see later on, Torah קמ״א, I just have the note over here, it says ל״ט מלאכות is זוהמת הנחש, and through this comes עצבות רוח, that that חטאים comes, סטרא אחרא comes from this ל״ט מלאכות. So, this idea of the the a person could also inject kedushah into the building blocks of the building blocks of physical productivity in the עולם העשיה, and relate it back. But when we relate to them as their own entity, this world as something being separate, so that's really the סטרא אחרא, that's the cause of sin.

And therefore, as we relate it to שמירת הברית, that's a realm of of these 39 מלאכות, an expression of the universe of of physical activity, and that's going to detach one from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, rachmana litzlan chas veshalom, and it's going to cause poverty. וזה Boaz. So this idea of of ברית, בועז, בו כל שני הבחינות. So in this idea of taking a ברית is actually the two options, there's the two ways that we could go, היינו ל״ט אורות, מי ששומר הברית, מי ששומר הברית, ול״ט מלאכות מי שפוגם בו.

So there's two ways to relate to this ל״ט. Everything is זה לעומת זה, everything has a parallel. There's the positive way we can go with it, and there's the negative way we can go with it. Where do we see this referenced in עז, in Boaz, person who does שמירת הברית, but in him is strength, oz. So when we talk about gematria, sometimes you can be one off, because let's say עז, strength, is עין זין, that's 77. But sometimes what we do is we say, and then there's one for the kollel, one for the word itself, is 78.

78 / 39 * 2 is 78. So, עז in it has the capacity, the the strength for שמירת הברית or פגם הברית, you can go in either direction, כי עז עם הכולל שתי פעמים טל. You can go either way with these with this 39. You can go to 39 אורות or 39 מלאכות. וזה, and this is מרומז in the pasuk of אלה פקודי המשכן משכן העדות. The word משכן is said it twice: משכן, משכן, שתי פעמים, שתי פעמים ל״ט. Why? כי ל״ט מלאכות גמרינן ממשכן. Where do we know, Chazal explained to us what the 39 מלאכות are, really from the משכן.

ומי ששומר את בריתו, אף על פי שהוא עושה הל״ט מלאכות, a person who is שומר his bris even though he's doing ל״ט מלאכות physically, what's he doing? He's engaging in society, in productivity in this world, but there's a difference in how a person relates to it. If I this entire world the way that Hakadosh Baruch Hu set it up, is really through physical through physical action, that's where we're able to impact the the the between us and spirituality. A person wants to live in a world of רוחניות, אבל למעשה how do we live?

מפליא לעשות. The Rema already talks about in the beginning of of Shulchan Aruch, if anybody started the Mishnah Berurah cycle of Dirshu, maybe you saw this you saw this early Rema recently, by by the berachah of אשר יצר, מפליא לעשות. Why should it be that if I eat food or I don't eat food, so a person's neshamah could leave them? If they starve to death, why should their neshamah leave their body if they don't eat food? Why should it be that the act with one's wife should impact that if it's done in a certain way, a physical way, that could literally give a heichi timtzi, create a כלי that it should bring a neshamah down to a world.

And if a person, right, what's the difference in one act to another? Rav Avigdor talks about talks about that as as an idea where we see just mamash that there's spiritual the spiritual world is set up כפי the way that we have certain מעשים. And if you shake lulav a certain way, the same way that if you connect wires a certain way, that creates a certain electric current or not, so if you shake the lulav a certain way, and if you eat the matzah a certain way, but if the matzah was 1 second over, so then it's going to be chametz.

And if the mikveh has 1 cm less water, then it's not kasher, otherwise it could have make a person that it is that he is tahor. And if he wasn't tahor, he goes into the Beit HaMikdash, he's chayav mitah. These aren't just there's There's acts that affect certain things. So if I give you money, is that a physical act or is that a spiritual act? Well, if I give you money to to just give you money to bribe you, that's a negative thing. If I'm giving you money for tzedakah, so then I just did an act of kedushah.

So even the the acts in and of themselves are not negative. The acts if they're associated with have a kavanah, with what the act is, right, I tell you, thanks a lot. Am I telling you, thanks a lot? Or am I telling you you did something to me, thanks a lot, right? Even the tone in words change the meaning of the words and this happens in acts as also. So back in the text, he says, a person who שומר ברית, even though yes, he's engaged in the ל״ט מלאכות, הם בבחינת מלאכת המשכן, היינו משכן בבניינו.

The Mishkan in its קומה שלמה, in its structure, it's השראת השכינה, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is שוכן in it. Those acts are not physical acts that are disassociated with spirituality. Those are the physical expression of spiritual acts. That's בבחינת ל״ט אורות. אך מי שפוגם בברית, המלאכה שלו הם בבחינת משכן בחורבנו. But a person who's פוגם the brit, so now it's it's it's off, right? Things don't work. If an engine is put together well, so the engine moves the car. If the engine is not put together well, it's not working, so then it might just be extra weight that makes it harder for a person needs to pull the car, it makes it harder for the car to move.

It's just extra baggage, right? A person is working with משכן בבניינו, so then that's a structure, that's where the spirituality, that's where the Shechinah, there's the השראת השכינה, that's ל״ט אורות. A person who doesn't have שמירת הברית, so then when he's engaging in everything, so then it's just acts that are disassociated, it's the משכן בחורבנו, destructive בבחינת ל״ט מלאכות, בבחינת ארבעים יכנו ולא יוסיף. It's a Gemara it's a pasuk in Devarim, talks about the thirty-nine מלאכות, ולא יוסיף, that there's going to be a that a person does a chet, so the standard punishment is makot.

So just not to unpack this a total amount, but what it means ארבעים יכנו ולא יוסיף, so what did we say? That the reason a person gets thirty-nine makot is because of ולא יוסיף. In the פנימיות we're going to learn, what's ולא יוסיף? We said that ו is tosefet. So where did the chet came from? The chet came from because there was no tosefet, there was no ו. What's ו? ו is the ו is representative of of tosefet, we said it's תוספת קדושה, where there's שמירת הברית.

But if a person is not mosif, so they take the ו out, that's where there's that that that's where there's no גדר גדר by the ערוה. That's where we said that there's ga'avah. That's where you take the ו out of כבוד השם, there's no hitbatlut, that's כבד פה, he's being weighed down, there's a there's a a pegam in the לשון, he can't articulate, and again he's not going to know where to do teshuvah, he's not going to come to תשובת תורה דעומקא, היינו בבחינת פגם הברית שהוא בחינת תוספות כנ״ל like we've spoken out.

Okay, now that we've explained all of this, we're going to have to say that שמירת הברית and תוספת קדושה is is מרומז in the אות ו and this is going to relate back to ייחוד תחתון and ייחוד עליון which is where we started the Torah and then next time, really, we will go vayter. These are really the concepts I think that come up from the Torah. Next time we're going to finish up the substance of it and then go into the to the מימרא, I think the one again over here of רבה בר בר חנה.

Now אות ה׳: ושמירת הברית יש בו שני בחינות. There's two levels of שמירת הברית. Everything is multifaceted. So what we have over here, there's the שמירת הברית and then there's a higher level of שמירת הברית. יש מי שזיווגו בששת ימי החול, ואף על פי כן הוא שומר את בריתו על פי תורה. Again, we're going to read the words and take out of it what we can. We're talking about very lofty levels, but we'll try to understand the principle of it. So there's שמירת הברית where a person lives within גדרים, he lives within ד׳ אמות של הלכה.

And there's a person who's מזווג, now just to take one step back. So we said everything in this world really lines up with things in the upper world. We've spoken out before this idea of of זיווגים, that the world is set up with with a נותן and a מקבל. And when the נותן and the מקבל align, it has a זיווג and it has a תולדה, and something comes out of that relationship, and that goes on to the next to the next level. And הקדוש ברוך הוא, there's always, that's why in Kabbalah a lot of times these terms, there's the male, and then there's the female.

There's there's חסד and גבורה. There's always counterparts that as they work together, that's where they they go and they transmit to the to the next level. So there's a different element of זיווג. Sometimes we'll see, not for now, that is it we talk about יעקב and לאה and Yisrael and Rachel and there's different elements. These are these these words are not they're they're representative of ideas. Sometimes you see, that's why in translation when people start coming off, I can't say that I understand it the best either, but when people talk and the and it becomes a translation from certain kabbalistic concepts, it doesn't mean anything.

It's like if you were in business or a plumber, who knows, you could talk about something that there's hard water, and a hard market. Is a hard market the same thing as hard water? I don't know, hard water means like a lot of minerals, and hard market might mean the way that the market is responding to certain stimuli in in finance. So what does the word hard mean? I don't know, right? So it's hard to speak about things without really understanding what these concepts mean, but we do our best.

So in the ששת ימי בראשית, הקדוש ברוך הוא, there's different there's different צמצומים. There's different ways that we relate to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the ששת ימי בראשית and on Shabbos. When we talk about the ששת ימי בראשית, so like we said before, a person could be engaged in ל״ט מלאכות, but they're engaged in ל״ט מלאכות really as an expression, as a manifestation of spirituality. It's how they relate to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. That's a tremendous darga. But what happens when when ויכולו, that there's a stage where Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, "No, give me back the reins.

The whole the whole week long you're engaging, you have a מקום עבודה, and I put it into your realm, and it's as if Hakadosh Baruch Hu is dressed up as there's a מלבוש, so to speak, of of טבע." טבע is just an expression of רצון השם, that everything works with certain with a certain system. Yes, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is responsible for the system, but it's through screens. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is expressing himself, as it were, through ששת ימי בראשית'דיק things. So that's where we relate in one level to ל״ט מלאכות.

There's a higher level. There's a higher level where Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, "No, now don't worry about it. Give me back the reins on on on creation, on melacha, on everything. You just sit and you don't worry about anything, you relate to me." That's a much different darga. All of a sudden, even the screen of טבע, the screen of having to work, of hishtadlut, so to speak, is stopped. That's a bechinah of Shabbos. We relate to Hakadosh Baruch Hu totally differently. That relationship, that התבטלות, that's a much more direct relationship where we don't even relate to Hashem through the screens.

On Shabbos is a much more primal connection than the ששת ימי בראשית. So now inside, the idea of שמירת הברית, of תוספת קדושה, of the kavod, of התבטלות of relating to Hashem takes on a different expression in the ששת ימי בראשית'דיק way, from from from the zivugim in the עולם העליון of Hakadosh Baruch Hu is relating to us, and also how we relate back to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and on Shabbos. So with that introduction, the way that I best understand: שמירת הברית, יש בו שני בחינות. יש מי שזיווגו בששת ימי החול.

In practical terms, there's people that are together with their wife even in the six days, ואף על פי כן, הוא שומר בריתו על פי תורה. He does what he has to do כפי ההלכה, in one way of attaching to kedushah and השם, שאינו יוצא מדיני התורה. ויש מי ששומר הברית, שזיווגו משבת לשבת. Now, interestingly, by the way, the Gemara itself tells us that in terms of of family responsibilities with one's wife, how often there's certain חיובים in terms of שלום בית, in terms of being with his wife, also relates actually it's framed in terms of what people's jobs are.

People who even in terms of parnasah, a sailor might be, you know, traveling every six months, you know. So it talks about in terms of, again, we relate the idea our רבי pointed this out of parnasah and also the idea of תיקון הברית. But in any event, והוא בחינת ייחודא עילאה וייחודא תתאה. How we relate to הקדוש ברוך הוא in this world, that everything is הקדוש ברוך הוא, one is through a screen, one is ייחודא תתאה. It's when in this world, right? And but it's we relate to הקדוש ברוך הוא through this world, and one is the בחינה of ייחודא עילאה, of Shabbos, of being even outside of being outside of the world.

And even in the yeah, so vayter, and even in the name of Shaddai, we already spoken about these these elements, שמירת הברית in the context of the שם שדי. So now we're going to go we're going to go vayter, that that there's parallels in ייחוד עליון and ייחוד תחתון. Also the name Shaddai is בחינה of תוספת קדושה that we saw already in אות ו׳. All these concepts that that we saw, we're going to see they're also a בחינה כלפי שדי, also as relates to ייחודא עילאה, ייחודא תתאה.

As we uncover the core concepts, we find that they express themselves in various areas, so we work our way almost like outside inside, and then we can work our way back out. וזה, this idea of שמירת הברית, of זיווג שבת לשבת, of ייחוד עליון בחינת שדי של שבת, because we already related to Shaddai as שיש די באלקותו, of saying Shaddai is an expression of of of total hitbatlut and anavah, that there's nothing outside of Hashem. Now, also שאמר לעולמו די, לעולמו די, that הקדוש ברוך הוא said, "So this is creation." And now we move above creation.

The name Shaddai also relates relates us to Shabbos, that HaKadosh Baruch Hu said there's nothing else that has to be created within this worldly realm, שצמצם את עצמו מכל מלאכה. So HaKadosh Baruch Hu stopped. He he stood back, as it were, from further מלאכות. וזה בחינת ייחודא עילאה. ויש בחינת שדי של חול. There's also a bechinah of שדי של חול, שיש באלקותו די, יש באלקותו די לכל בריה. So there's one way that the word Shaddai relates to within this world in this world, that there's enough, there's no room for גאוה.

I have התבטלות towards HaKadosh Baruch Hu, and then there's a bechinah of Shaddai that's outside of the universe of this world that we find ourself in, שיש ד- שיש לעול- שאמר לעולמו די, that that for this world it's enough, and now there's a bechinah of Shabbos that's above that. So over here, שגם בחול יש צמצומים ממלאכה לחברתה like we explained. וזה בחינת מט״ט. So there's a a angel, the שר הפנים, the Metatron, is different whether or not you say the word or don't say the word, some people they don't they don't speak out the name which is Metatron, his name is Metatron and then ריש ואו נון, so Metatron and רון, but people don't say it.

And this by the way, if you if you do the gematria of this שם of this this name of this מלאך, so that actually is the same gematria, 314 of Shaddai. The way that HaKadosh Baruch Hu relates through this world, through this screen, it's almost confusing. There's a Gemara in Chagigah about the four תנאים that entered פרדס and it talks about how being exposed to this Metatron angel could almost be confusing whether or not it seems that it's literally a as if it were an אלוקות and then you say that it's so close could there be that there are two as if say two gods in this world?

You can't say it, and then one of the people had problems in in his thought process, and he was not able to recover from that. So this world HaKadosh Baruch Hu has the מלבוש, as it were, that we relate. It's Hashem acting through a screen, through an agent, as it were, like one step removed seemingly, and that goes through this angel called Metatron. שייך שלטנותיה בששת ימי החול בחינת ששה סדרי משנה. That the bechinah of the Metatron angel is through six days of חול, בחינה which is a בחינה of ששה סדרי משנה.

Again, this אות ו', this תיקונא דברית is representative of the Torah of ששי- ששה סדרי משנה, ששמו כשם רבו, that the gematria of Metatron, right, is with ריש ואו נון is 314 is שדי, כמו שכתוב כי שמי בקרבו, that really it's as if my name is in this angel. It's coming off שמות, הנה אנכי שולח מלאך לפניך, הקדוש ברוך הוא says I'll send I'll relate to you through a מלאך, and the pasuk goes on, אל תמר בו, כי שמי בקרבו. Don't rebel against him, כי שמי בקרבו.

Really it's a מלבוש for for הקדוש ברוך הוא. וזה בחינת יחודא תתאה, היינו שהקדוש ברוך הוא מלביש את עצמו במט״ט ששת ימי החול ומנהיג עולמו על ידו, that הקדוש ברוך הוא is running the world through this מלבוש through Metatron. And that's why we see in this world there's a different הנהגה, there's different expressions of רע, but we have the we relate through the through the תורה שבעל פה, which is much more in case format, you could say. It's in in this this-worldly terms, we relate to the principles in more of a this-worldly way.

But in any event, however we understand it to the best of our ability, we have that in this world this is a בחינה of שדי could relate to ששאמר לעולמו די to a בחינה of Shabbos, we have שיש באלוקותו די, that שדי relates to this world. The way that שדי relates to this world in the יחודא תתאה is through the Metatron angel, through a מלבוש. And that's how we are going to have to go vayter to see to see, but the way that a person is able to יחודא עילאה is כולל, it's it's כולל the יחודא תתאה, that we relate that we bring ourselves to relate to the ultimate יחוד and that's how we get to to תבונת התורה לעומקה.

Again, what prevents us from from achieving that level is the fact that we have פגם הברית and that we have gaavah. So the way to get to תבונת התורה לעומקה is through articulating words of Torah. In order to articulate words of Torah, we have to get past our שמירת הברית issues, our פגם הברית issues through שמירת הברית, ברית, and we have to have anavah, we have to have hisbatlut. That's what gives us the ו'. The ו' is put into כבד פה. Where we can't articulate the words of Torah properly, it gets put into כבוד השם.

Once we have the כבוד השם, we articulate our words properly, we have total hisbatlut to כבוד השם, it shows us we have to do teshuvah, we do teshuvah on teshuvah, and we get to תבונת התורה לעומקה. I will just speak out briefly, briefly the vort that I wanted to say because I have a couple of a couple of minutes. The the separate from what we're talking about, I just was blown away by the vort, the way that I understood it with a mixture of Yiddish, I guess, English and some Hebrew.

But Rav Nisan Kaplan said there's a this is a a well-known idea that Rabbi Akiva, so he saw the drips on the rock and then he said if the water can affect the rock, then it can affect me, and the way that sometimes people present this idea or have a question this idea is that Rabbi Akiva like didn't want to learn Torah, he saw the drips on the rock, and then he wanted to learn Torah. But that's that sefarim already speak about cannot be peshat because the drips on the rock only were showing him that there there can be an impact, that something can change.

The Alter of Novardok talks about it, but that something can change. It had to be that the ratzon was there. Rabbi Akiva wanted to go in a certain direction, there was a certain impediment holding him back, and he saw that because the water could change the rock, so then he was able, he says, you know what, if the water could change the rock, then I'll be able to go through the path that I want to get into the path. It wouldn't have changed changed his ratzon, it would have just gotten him over the impediment to be able to move forward in the direction that he truly wanted to go.

But what Rav Nisan Kaplan said, as I understand, he said you have to understand that this is amazing. The Chazal tell us that Moshe Rabbeinu saw Rabbi Akiva, and Moshe Rabbeinu said that if you have a Rabbi Akiva, why did you give the Torah through me? Now this is an amazing statement. כלפי הקדוש ברוך הוא, any one of us, I guess, could fulfill our potential, and you could even have somebody that people recognize as a גדול הדור, and they got a 99 on the test, but we, כפי our level, got a 100 on the test, and we're greater?

I don't know, maybe. However, the bottom line is is that Moshe Rabbeinu probably, the way that we relate to it, would not see me or you, even if we did everything was to do, and say, "Why'd you give the Torah through me? You should have given it through him." This means that Rabbi Akiva, once he exercised his potential, but he had the potential in him, he had the koachot to be out of this world. In every arena, anybody that Moshe Rabbeinu would be נתפעל, would be blown away by to the point that he says, "Why give the Torah through me?

Give the Torah through him." We have to understand that this person had the kochot that were ultimately were manifest, that he was able to bring out his kochot to be larger than anything that we could possibly imagine. Okay? The way that whether or not Moshe Rabbeinu was saying this out of anavah or not, but that he was נתפעל by Rabbi Akiva, this is unbelievable. Now, Rabbi Akiva, who obviously that means had this potential within him to be larger than anything we can imagine, he thought that it wasn't even worth it for him to learn אלף בית.

He He had, and what Rav Nisan Kaplan said, he said, that means that there's a yetzer hara, there's a threshold yetzer hara that tells a person that they can't accomplish that's so powerful. Don't Don't try to do an amud of Mishnah Berurah a day, you'll never make it. Don't try to do דף יומי, don't try to do Likutei Moharan, don't start saying, you know, Tehillim once a month, you're never going to be able to stick with it, you won't accomplish. There's a yetzer hara that tells a person that it's not worth it to give it a shot, you're not going to accomplish it anyway.

And this yetzer hara is so powerful that you could have somebody, think about the the gap between a person who could be larger than life, like a like a malach, and this yetzer hara can convince him he can't even learn אלף בית. Now we We're dealing with a much smaller gap. In our best, we're not going to be as high as that, and most of us already know אלף בית. So we If If Rabbi Akiva had the capacity to be at a level of a million, and the yetzer hara convinced him that you can't even get onto the first rung, so for us for us, we're already on a bunch of rungs up from learning אלף בית, and we don't have that far to get

to accomplish our potential, right? So So So he said it's נורא ואיום. We have to understand, when we convince ourselves that it's not worth trying something, you have to understand, you know how powerful that yetzer hara is that tells a person that they can't accomplish? It can even get somebody who's larger than life itself to think he can't learn אלף בית, קל וחומר בן בנו של קל וחומר that the yetzer hara doesn't have to work that hard by us. Every time we talk ourselves out of trying something new, trying a project, being able to accomplish, taking a step towards spiritual growth, we have to know that that's not true.

That That, you know how powerful this yetzer hara is that tells you you can't accomplish? We see this from Rabbi Akiva. We have to know, just ignore the yetzer hara. It's not you. It's not from within. It's an external. It's the yetzer hara telling you you can't accomplish, and just dive in, just go forward because if this yetzer hara was powerful enough to tell Rabbi Akiva not to learn אלף בית, certainly he's powerful enough where we already have have, you know, more than that, it certainly can can can attack at us.

And we have to understand that there's this yetzer hara out there, and and and we have no idea what potential we have that we rob ourself of by listening to this yetzer hara. Just ignore the yetzer hara, and jump in, and be'etzem, be'ezrat Hashem, we will continue to grow together.